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Divorce Rates versus the Swinger Lifestyle
Swinging 101
November 13, 2003 -- Swingers. Wife-swappers. Playcouples. Called by
many names, they’re a subculture as old as sex itself, and can be found
both everywhere and nowhere. If you’re conservative, the mere word invokes
visions of hellfire and damnation, with the certainty that Satan has a special
room in hell just for these particularly evil heathens. If you’re liberal,
they’re just your everyday thrill seekers to be left to their private
lives, and don’t hurt anybody. Loved, hated, misunderstood, persecuted
yet ever enduring, swingers live in your neighborhood and are just like you,
so read and learn a little about your wilder friends.
Everybody has heard of swingers (and like we said, you probably have some friends
that at least dabble), but if you ask 100 people, “what are swingers?”
you’ll get close to 100 different answers. Even swingers are torn on explaining
the subject, and would on any given day debate each other as to who are “true
swingers” and who are “posers.” And while trying to follow
it can be as confusing as the idea of gay republicans, there are some common
threads that almost all swingers agree upon.
SWINGER PHILOSOPHY #1: MONOGAMY IS UNNATURAL
The first thing almost all swingers will assert is that monogamy is unnatural.
Studies have suggested that that the majority of species on this earth, both
currently living and extinct, are not monogamous. What’s more, these same
studies imply that less than 20% of all the history’s organisms are single-spouse
or mate-for-life. Of course, for every study there’s a counter study or
some obscure bible passage that suggests that swingers see what they want to
see and are all damned for eternity, but if you’ve ever seen killer whales
mate (which is, described loosely, an endless gang-bang with the last male standing
receiving the prize of reproduction), there’s a compelling argument to
be made that many species of this earth do not follow monogamous principles
and seem to get along just fine.
SWINGER PHILOSOPHY #2: SEX IS NOT LOVE
Swingers also believe in the concept that not only is sex not to be confused
with love, but that casual and consensual extra-marital sex is not a threat
to their marital vows. Furthermore, open and honest swinging can actually strengthen
a relationship because of the extra communication required to have several people
involved in a sexual situation at the same time. That’s not to say that
some couples that call themselves swingers aren’t actually cheaters –
but swingers draw a clear distinction between polysexual activity in which your
spouse is involved and getting laid behind your spouse’s back. The mantra
for this philosophy is “if all parties agree.”
SWINGER PHILOSOPHY #3: BISEXUAL WOMEN
Contrary to the wife-swapping myth, the majority of the swinging lifestyle is based on bisexual or bi-curious women looking to explore sex with other women. A large percentage of the swing population (up to 50% by some estimates) is couples searching for either a single bisexual woman for a threesome, or girl/girl play while the husbands either only watch or play with their own spouses. Men having sexplay with women other than their wives is usually an afterthought or a less than common occurrence.
SWINGER PHILOSOPHY #4: FEMALE DOMINANCE
While we’re talking about the misnomer of wife-swapping, it’s an interesting thing to observe that women are the dominant gender in the lifestyle. Most of the time, men drag women kicking and screaming for a first visit to a swing party or club, and then the women rule from thereafter, if for no other reason than to enjoy their newfound and unprecedented gender power. Dictating all future endeavors in the lifestyle, the ladies choose playmates, set play limits and generally explore all the fantasies they’ve ever had, at the pace they see fit.
To learn more about the wild world of swinging, be sure to check out www.sdc.com